Realistic, Attainable, Loopholed…Perfectly Imperfect Resolutions for Me
Add comment January 3rd, 2008
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Truly Smart Resolutions Are Vague Resolutions
New Year’s resolutions are always challenging for me. It’s so easy to be too ambitious and set your goals too high, which invariably leads to disappointment. I’m sure everyone knows someone who has given up on their resolutions before the end of January. However, being ambitious can drive us to become better people and to excel, so maybe it’s good to set lofty goals?
In my past life in the corporate world, we taught our employees to set SMART goals for themselves. Who doesn’t love an acronym, right? SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely. This system works well in business, as it can teach people to divide challenges in smaller chunks, improve their performance, and measure their progress… but it’s not a very pleasant experience to try and run your life like you’d run a department!
I’ve always taken nearly the opposite track when I set my yearly resolutions, or rather renew my resolutions, because they have been the same for years: I’m purposely vague. Every day I strive to do at least one thing in three categories: something that focuses on knowledge or brain power, something that focuses on health or body power, and something that focuses on family and friends.
Photograph by Sally Mahoney. Some rights reserved.
This is obviously very vague, but it’s that vagueness that allows me to stick with it. For the first category, I can read an article, story, textbook – anything from which I can learn. Or maybe I can play a game of chess or have a debate with someone. Anything that grows my mind works – even researching and writing an article! For the second category I can obviously work out, but as much as I’d like to, I don’t have the time for a full work-out every day. However, a long walk with the baby counts too, or maybe eating a healthy salad for lunch. And the last category is always the most fun: get in touch with a friend or relative, play with the baby, do something nice for someone.
Those resolutions may seem very vague to people who set specific goals like losing a certain amount of weight or saving a specific amount of money, but ultimately they help me attain what’s always been my main goal: to be a better person when I go to sleep than I was when I woke up.
Submitted by Stefan Raets. Stefan is a refugee from the corporate world. When he isn’t reading or writing, he’s probably feeding or diapering his newborn son.
1 comment January 3rd, 2008
A Writer’s Resolutions: A Year in the Life of a Manuscript
Along with my resolution to stay upbeat and optimistic no matter what, this year I’m going green. I’m going to achieve my writing goals (and along with them, my financial ones) and I’m going to be environmentally responsible while doing so by reusing and recycling whenever possible.
Most resolutions fail because they’re spur of the moment ideas born solely out of optimism, with little planning behind them. But I’ve done the groundwork and mapped out some practical applications of my resolutions to keep me on track all year. Here’s my plan for 2008, step by step:
1. Finish editing the novel and start submitting it. I can’t get famous by keeping it in a drawer, can I?
2. Recycle all my old bank statements and tax returns from the last 15 years. I’m going to need that filing cabinet space to store royalty statements and big thick tax returns once I get a cushy contract with a major publishing house.
3. Recycle unsent letters. There’s an exercise encouraged in marriage counseling where one writes a letter to her uncooperative spouse and says everything she wants to say, however she wants to say it. The spouse doesn’t get to the see the letter, it’s just to vent. I have an entire boot box full of them, all beginning with phrases such as ‘Dear !#%&@’ and ‘Dear Mr. Sensitivity’, that I reread occasionally after I’ve had a few glasses of wine. I could mail them now, and perhaps he’d even laugh. But imagine the postage fees! No point going into debt right at the beginning of the year. Besides, I need the postage to keep mailing out my manuscript–because, mysteriously, it keeps coming back. The publishers I’ve sent it to thus far must have a full list for quite a while.
4. Go on a diet and get some exercise. I want to get in better shape before I start lunching with the other literary greats. I’d like to lose at least 20 more pounds than necessary so I can fully indulge in New York cuisine once I’m flown out to negotiate a contract. But I doubt there’ll be time. Oh, and the talk shows! The camera adds at least 10 pounds; I don’t want to look too fat on Letterman.
5. Recycle the small pile of rejection slips. They all say almost the same thing, word for word, just on different letterhead. Not worth the space to keep them.
6. Dig out the few most entertaining unsent spouse letters for safekeeping. I kept meaning to take that box to the recycling center, but luckily I put it off. Those witty gems might be worth something someday when I’m a famous novelist. Maybe I’ll even send one to the ex after I’m a household name, just as a sign of goodwill. He could sell it on eBay.
7. Recycle more rejection slips, except the one with a handwritten note that I can’t read because it’s blurred by a coffee stain. It looks like ‘monklurp fxp tipto n’ when I squint. But it’s still special: an editor actually took the time to scribble something illegible on the rejection slip! That means I’m getting warmer…
8. Instead of wasting yet more paper, start calling publishing houses to see if they’re even looking at manuscripts, or if their lines are full for a while. There’s no point in wasting time sending my book to places that don’t currently need new books! If they’re accepting manuscripts, I will then explain that they must have mistakenly put mine back in the envelope without reading it.
Photograph © (c) Inkswamp. Some rights reserved.
9. Write some letters to publishing houses. Letters I would never, ever send unless I planned a major shift in career path. Letters questioning the sanity and good taste of several key people. Write my first ever letter using only expletives and exclamation points.
10. Recycle those letters. Responsible, see?
11. Recycle more rejection slips. What is wrong with these people, don’t they know they’re wasting precious natural resources? I printed that manuscript to be read and appreciated, not just shuffled from envelope to envelope!
12. Drunk dial Simon & Schuster. Explain to the woman on the phone that in the spirit of recycling, they didn’t need to send my manuscript back to me. She could have kept it and put it somewhere else instead.
13. Send letter of apology to receptionist at Simon & Schuster. Include a note asking her to recycle it when she’s finished.
14. Send my novel to all my friends electronically and on CD-ROM, since clearly no publisher wants to take a chance on something so original. Yes, of course I’m happy about it; it all worked out just as I had planned! I never really wanted it published on paper anyway. Think of all those trees…
Shelley Ontis lives in Illinois, surrounded by corn, cows and pick-up trucks. She claims it’s not nearly as exciting as it sounds.
1 comment January 2nd, 2008
Child Wins Contest, But at What Cost?
Opinion
“My daddy died this year in Iraq. I am going to give mommy the Angel pendant that daddy put on mommy when she was having me. I had it in my jewelry box since that day. I love my mommy.”
That is the text of an essay written by 6 year old Alexis, winner of the Libby Lu Hannah Montana essay contest. The lucky girl won a Libby Lu makeover plus tickets to see Montana live in NY in January, including airfare and accommodations. She even won a special Hannah Montana goodie bag. What little girl wouldn’t go to the end of the earth for such an opportunity?
Alexis made that trek—accompanied every step by her mother Priscilla Ceballos, who wanted her daughter to win at any cost. The end result was this: they created the entire tale of Alexis’s father dying in Iraq; in fact there’s no soldier involved whatsoever. Priscilla has admitted that she and her daughter “ […] did whatever we could do to win.”
Club Libby Lu, who chose Alexis’s entry presumably out of sympathy, is reviewing the matter. Their rules didn’t stipulate the entries needed to be true, and Priscilla is using that as the excuse for her behavior. As it presently stands, Alexis and Priscilla will retain the prize.
Detail of photograph by Jim Simonson. Some rights reserved.
Club Libby Lu’s glamorous stores are a great deal of fun for young girls. Even for older ones—I visited and made my own cosmetics there for the experience when I was in my mid-twenties. Yet if the company awards Alexis the prize they will be committing an injustice. They will teach impressionable children that taking advantage of loopholes, if not outright lying and cheating, is acceptable.
For the daughters of fathers who truly have died in Iraq, it’s a slight. Club Libby Lu should be ashamed to award a prize to a girl who claimed such a tragedy simply to win, when there may well have been children applying who’ve endured the real deal and remained silent. Lying to win is bad enough without also cheapening the sacrifices and suffering of others, which is precisely what Libby Lu will allow Alexis and Priscilla to do if they don’t revoke the prize.
I’m disappointed in Club Libby Lu and I hope as they review the situation they will reconsider their approach. Just because an essay contest could be open to creative interpretation doesn’t mean that lying—and however you paint it, it’s a lie—should be tolerated.
Sources & More information:
Fox Dallas / Fort Worth
MSNBC
The Dallas Morning News
WFAA
Wizbang
Yahoo News
Add comment December 29th, 2007
“Trading Places”: Christmas Cheer in an Unusual Package
My favorite Christmas movie, unlikely as it may be, is Trading Places. This 1983 comedy, masterfully directed by John Landis, may not be a traditional Christmas vehicle. But it’s set during the holidays, features at least one Santa (even if he is drunk, criminal, and suicidal), and carries an unmistakable–if deeply buried and rather subversive–Christmas message. In addition, it always cheers me up in the dark days of December because it’s simply one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen.
In the first few minutes all the pieces of the story are put in place. Mortimer and Randolph Duke are two wealthy commodity brokers who decide to play games with the lives of two innocent people. Louis Winthorpe III (brilliantly played by Dan Akroyd) is a respectable, successful employee of the Dukes’ commodity brokerage firm. He lives in a mansion, has a butler and a beautiful fiancée, and is seemingly set for life. His counterpoint is provided by Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy, back when he was still funny), a street hustler who pretends to be a war veteran and who is arrested when he accidentally bumps into Winthorpe while begging for change.
Mortimer and Randolph Duke are in the middle of a nature versus nurture discussion: what makes a person successful, his upbringing or his inherent qualities? They decide to use Winthorpe and Valentine as their guinea pigs in an experiment. Their plan is to discredit the rich, successful Winthorpe by implying that he has stolen company money and even by placing drugs in his desk. He is thrown in jail and his bank accounts are frozen. When he is released, his fiancée Penelope is waiting for him, but before she can embrace him the Dukes have paid a prostitute (Jamie Lee Curtis) to kiss him and beg him for more drugs. Now completely down and out, Winthorpe ends up taking refuge in the prostitute’s apartment.
Meanwhile, the Dukes have given Winthorpe’s job and mansion to former beggar Valentine. He’s gone from rags to riches, throwing wild parties for his friends, and succeeding at work by applying common sense to the commodities trading game. But when Winthorpe finds out why he lost his life of luxury, who stepped in his place, and who is to blame… things are about to change.
I don’t want to reveal the rest of the story because believe it or not this is only the set-up for a truly funny, though occasionally bittersweet, Christmas story. You can catch the movie on television (such as Comedy Central in the U.S.) during the Christmas season, but cable TV doesn’t do this masterpiece justice. To get the full experience, I recommend finding it on DVD. Enjoy, and happy holidays!
Submitted by Stefan Raets. Stefan is a refugee from the corporate world. When he isn’t reading or writing, he’s probably feeding or diapering his newborn son.
Add comment December 26th, 2007
Club Penguin a Charming Creation
If you have a technologically-inclined child, chances are you’ve heard of Club Penguin. It’s a virtual world not unlike Neopets (only considerably more interactive and eye-catching), but strongly geared towards children. Club Penguin is a Disney creation, and it has all the charm and dazzle you’d expect from a Disney venture.
I’m almost 30, but testing Club Penguin for this review I couldn’t help but marvel that even I could spend a good chunk of time there and be well-entertained. It’s filled with both interactive games (like a virtual version of the classic Connect Four) and games to play against the computer. There are lots of areas where children can chat, though chat seems to be the least popular feature. Dressing in costumes, collecting props, playing games, adopting pets, and other fun activities clearly rule the place.
© (c) 2007 Club Penguin Entertainment Inc.
Your character is a penguin, plain and simple. When you create your account you’re given a choice of colors–as you see, I chose green. My only hitch in character creation was that every name I tried to register was taken. First I tried Bob2233–no dice. Then Bobguin…alright, that one was pretty likely to be taken. Each time it checked a username it was painfully slow to receive a server response. Frustrated, I decided to take a rather literal interpretation of their suggestion to combine favorite colors and nickname–I named my penguin RGBCMYK.
© (c) 2007 Club Penguin Entertainment Inc.
After an e-mail activation step I was in. At first I was daunted by the sheer number of servers that were full, but they’ve been careful to provide plenty for each country represented (for English-speakers alone there are USA, England, and Australia servers). I choose server “Mammoth” in the USA and away I went…
© (c) 2007 Club Penguin Entertainment Inc.
Magical twinkling music accompanied the cheery visual of a town bedecked in Christmas decor. Vibrant penguins waddled here and there, some performing comical actions such as waving that could only be described as penguin jumping jacks. A world map was available to allow for easy transportation between multiple world areas such as the beach and an ice rink. Eager to jump in, I made my way for a nearby building and entered.
© (c) 2007 Club Penguin Entertainment Inc.
At this point I began to notice the load times between screens was really, really slow. Slower than username check. Once I had to navigate back to the homepage and login again because it got stuck on an endless cycle of loading. Strike one in an otherwise pleasant experience: an impatient child will not be amused by the waiting.
Here I found the Connect Four game–though no other users were interested in or available to play it with me. Strike two, if and only if interaction is a top-notch priority: there seems to be very little of it between users, and not by design. So I chose “Ice Fishing” instead, your run-of-the-mill fishing game. It was a lot of fun, up until the point when I was contending with boots, barrels, jellyfish, and sharks as impediments! But even then it wasn’t the sort of game that would discourage kids. You have three lives and no time limit. It’s just one of many such games available in Club Penguin.
© (c) 2007 Club Penguin Entertainment Inc.
This is when I had to disconnect and reload, since trying to escape Ice Fishing was impossible. I logged in at a different place, a sort of downtown center with a pet shop, theatre, box of freebies (I found a bell, which I equipped and rang loudly at will), and a very touching feature. The game’s currency is coins with which costumes, accessories, pets, etc. are purchased. To give you an idea, a pet costs 800 coins. I began with about 200. A Salvation Army-style kettle revealed that children can donate coins to real life causes, such as helping sick kids or protecting the environment. The program, Coins for Change, moved me to spend 50 coins for ill children. Since the least exciting accessory I found, a page boy hat, costs more than that left me, it ended up being a sacrifice. But one I was happy to make, especially since the program’s existence encourages generosity and selflessness in younger generations. What a prize! (The Coins for Change campaign runs from December 14th-24th and will result in 1 million dollars donated to three charities represented by the in-game options.)
© (c) 2007 Club Penguin Entertainment Inc.
After donating some coins to the cause, I waddled into the pet shop for a look around. The pet system is fantastic: each color “puffle” (animated puffballs, for lack of a better description) has its own personality. You can kit your puffles out in neat accessories and toys. It all costs premium coin of course, but for kids who accumulate lots of currency by actively using the game a great deal, I’m sure it’s no sweat. But again, for impatient children, there’s a potential strike three in the high cost of the good life in Club Penguin.
© (c) 2007 Club Penguin Entertainment Inc.
Failing to secure a pet, I tried my hand at the theatre instead. This is a very clever idea: penguins can take the stage and, with the help of a script that children can copy into the chat and speak, perform their own plays. The scenery can be changed with a single mouse click, allowing creativity to run free. This is where costumes may be purchased (further allowing “actors” to customize the play with a range of costume types), but there’s nothing stopping anyone from performing without clothes. My penguin played his bell quite enthusiastically in the theatre.
© (c) 2007 Club Penguin Entertainment Inc.
From here I decided to explore the world map. I headed to the ice rink and found that a giant hockey puck in the center made it possible to play an unusual but enjoyable game of hockey. With few other penguins interested in participating, however, it was a pretty one-sided affair. Still, the idea is neat, and I’m sure somewhere on some server kids are having a ball with it.
© (c) 2007 Club Penguin Entertainment Inc.
I realized there was no way I’d manage to test every feature of Club Penguin for the purposes of this review, so I made one final journey: to the beach. It’s Christmas time, so the beach wasn’t looking so beachy. The lighthouse is in fact a giant Christmas tree, which certainly has holiday spirit. Inside there’s a stage and a few musical instruments where kids can pretend to rock n’ roll. I climbed to the very top, where a spy glass that doesn’t seem to do much of anything and a jet pack propulsion game awaited, and was tickled pink to see the lighthouse’s light is in fact a giant star atop the tree. How adorable!
© (c) 2007 Club Penguin Entertainment Inc.
I decided it was time to leave Club Penguin and my cheeky little friend RGBCMYK behind. I’d be curious to see what the game looks like when it’s not completely Christmas-themed, but it works well for the excitement of the season.
I would recommend this game without hesitation to any parent who’s happy to see his or her children carve out a safe corner of cyberspace. Multiple security measures make this a seemingly airtight place for kids to be. Adults are asked to create the accounts, and I think it’s wise to check in on your children whenever they’re online. But otherwise I would feel secure letting my kids hang out in Club Penguin.
For every “strike” against the game there are many good features to make this an overall positive experience. Disney delivers again!
Bonus for the season: If you want to get your children out of your hair as you do last-minute Christmas baking, gift wrapping, or other busy holiday tasks, pop them on Club Penguin for a while. It’ll hold their attention and stir their Christmas spirit!
Dina Ely is a freelance writer, poet, and author of short fiction. Readers can contact her at dely723@yahoo.com
6 comments December 22nd, 2007
Deja Vu for Dickens
It’s Christmas, and the airwaves are a-buzz with holiday movies. We can watch countless classics like White Christmas or quirky forgettables like Mixed Nuts. Somewhere in between is the international, cross-media riff-raff I anticipate every year…the many, many, many retellings of Charles Dickens’s tale A Christmas Carol.
Photograph by Rob. Some rights reserved.
I love Dickensonian London. I adore the atmosphere, history, and culture. I just hate Dickens. He can put me to sleep in an opening paragraph—worse than Ernest Hemingway, and anyone who’s read The Old Man and the Sea understands the potency of that statement. But the exception to my Dickens rule is A Christmas Carol. It’s fun to read and even more fun to see acted out in varied and occasionally very creative ways.
It’s serious deja vu for Dickens fans, and I’m sure many strongly object to concepts like Susan Lucci playing a female version of Scrooge, or D-List Diva Kathy Griffin laying down the law as the Ghost of Christmas Past. But I love it! Every twist in the tale, every unique angle, and every bit of traditional story tossed into the mix entertains me from start to finish.
I go out of my way to watch A Christmas Carol remakes regardless of the time of year. As a result I have a lengthy list of versions I enjoy. But in the interest of your eyesight, dear reader, I’ll pare it down to the short list of remakes well worth seeing. This list is chock-full of spoilers, so read with caution.
- Mickey’s Christmas Carol, an animated Disney picture released in 1983. I was four when it dropped and approximately six when it crossed my radar, but there was easily an entire year when I obsessed over this cartoon. Scrooge McDuck (think an older, crankier Donald), Mickey as Bob Cratchit, Goofy as Marley’s Ghost, Jiminy Cricket as the Ghost of Christmas Past…the list goes on and on. All of my cherished Disney characters brought the story to life. It was my first A Christmas Carol experience and will always be my favorite. Major flashback: I cried and cried during the Ghost of Christmas Future sequence when they revealed the fate of Tiny Tim, and a heartbroken Mickey weeps over his son’s grave…
- Ebbie, a made-for-tv flick from 1995, starring Susan Lucci as Elizabeth “Ebbie” Scrooge. She’s the same Scrooge, only anatomically altered; with one or two tweaks in her tale she is the character to a T. Susan Lucci takes it all a bit too seriously–as only she can–but her performance still sparkles. It’s a heartwarming take on the story and the first time I saw a female Scrooge. I liked the feminine twist; somehow when she comes to her senses on Christmas morning she seems to shift from a masculine to maternal persona, and the transformation fascinates me. Massive plus: the divine Molly Parker (Deadwood, Pure, Six Feet Under) plays two roles: Ebbie’s sister and niece, respectively. Double the delight! And for a nice performance, watch for Wendy Crewson (24, To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday) as “Roberta” Cratchit.
- Blackadder’s Christmas Carol, a UK holiday offering from Rowan Atkinson and the Blackadder gang, released in 1988. (Suddenly I feel very old!) It’s A Christmas Carol as only Blackadder could approach it: Atkinson reprises his famous character as “Ebenezer Blackadder”, and the entire cast of guffaw-worthy characters like Baldrick (otherwise known as “Sod-off Baldrick”, Tony Robinson), Queen Elizabeth I (Miranda Richardson), Prince George (Hugh Laurie), and Lord Melchett (Stephen Fry) round out the oddball black comedy. Clever addition to the tale: Blackadder’s plagued with visions of his ancestors and descendants–which turn him from a good-natured, gentle man into the conniving, misanthropic Blackadder we all know and love.
- A Diva’s Christmas Carol, made-for-tv & aired in 2000. Diva extraordinaire Williams is “Ebony” Scrooge, one member of a successful R&B trio, whom she wantonly casts aside for a solo career. (Even at seven years old it’s a cautionary tale for Beyoncé Knowles!) It’s a completely harmless film that’s fun for its kitsch. And Kathy Griffin positively shines as the Ghost of Christmas Past. This one still gets a fair bit of Lifetime TV airplay so check your TV guides! Word of warning: Although she plays her character perfectly, when Vanessa sings in a concert sequence at the end of the film it is absolutely painful. I’m not sure what happened to her—once upon a time she had a decent voice. As of 2000 that claim is well and truly dead.
- Scrooged, last to be mentioned here but certainly not least. This is also from 1988, a great year for witty Dickens remakes! Bill Murray could not be funnier in the role of Frank Cross, who is essentially Scrooge. The application of the story to the cutthroat television industry is genius–I imagine that if Dickens was alive and writing his tale today, he’d set it in showbiz. There are so many standout performances that make this film a total treat–Bobcat Goldthwait as a disgruntled ex-employee gone postal, Carole Kane as the horribly abusive Ghost of Christmas Past, Alfre Woodard (Desperate Housewives, Radio, Miss Evers’ Boys) as the Cratchit-esque Grace Cooley, and Jamie Farr as a disgusting but hilarious Jacob Marley. Unforgettable moments: the executive lunch when Murray suffers a long string of gruesome hallucinations. His comical shouts, gesticulations, and slapstick act floor me every time. Moment #2 comes after one ghostly visit, when Murray finds homeless Herman frozen–another tearjerker!
Photograph by Kevin Dooley. Some rights reserved.
A Christmas Carol simply is Christmas to me. It certainly doesn’t feel like the holidays until one or more remakes grace my television screen. I doubt anyone could watch the aforementioned titles and come away untouched—be it a laugh, a cry, or a lift in Christmas spirit. So next time you’re looking for an entertaining Christmas story with a dose of emotion and a holiday high, look no further than the many treatments of Dickens’s only tolerable masterpiece!
Dina Ely is a freelance writer, poet, and author of short fiction. Readers can contact her at dely723@yahoo.com
1 comment December 21st, 2007
He Didn’t Shoot His Eye Out, So There
by Shelley Ontis
My family like to call me “Scrooge” and “Grinch” because I dread Christmas each year. They say I hate Christmas, but that’s really not true. I enjoy it from about 9pm on Christmas Eve until bedtime on Christmas Day. I say that’s long enough. Just because the moment Halloween is over there seems to be this timer tick-tick-ticking down the days and hours we have remaining to get it all done doesn’t mean I have to like it.
By the time my daughter goes to bed on Christmas Eve–with everything finally bought, baked, checked off a list, and mailed–I feel like Scrooge and Grinch have nothing on me! I could out-bah-humbug the best of them. I want it over yesterday. I want to sleep a while and not have to hear a “Merry Christmas” or a sleigh bell for the rest of my life.
Then I watch my favorite holiday movie, A Christmas Story, while I wrap “Santa” presents for the next morning. And I feel a little less like grabbing the bell from a volunteer outside a store and chucking it across the parking lot as far as I can.
A Christmas Story is set a few years before my time, but despite the obvious difference in dress, cars, and kitchen décor, the atmosphere in that movie matched that of my childhood. I had the stay-at-home mom who worried about what the neighbors thought and annually cooked the big turkey dinner. I had the old man who tackled every home improvement project much like Darren McGavin tackled the persnickety furnace, with great zeal and creative adult language that I, like Ralphie, was not supposed to ever have heard. We had the hillbilly bumpkin neighbors with many dogs—no, wait, we were the bumpkins with the dogs, but I digress.
Who hasn’t had to suck on a bar of soap for some spoken infringement? Well, okay, maybe not everyone, though it was popular when I was a kid. But who hasn’t had her old man glare at her, after being mostly patient for a little while, and demand her to shut up? Who hasn’t been afraid of a playground bully, and didn’t they all have yellow eyes?
Ralphie’s childhood could have been mine, twenty years later, and his desperate longing for that BB gun could have been mine, if you changed the BB gun into a 3-speed bicycle or my very own 8-track cassette player (state of the art at the time).
Photograph by Paddy Patterson. Some rights reserved.
A Christmas Story is, at its heart, about avarice. But it’s a child’s avarice, the innocent and even encouraged greed that we all felt at Christmas. (I dare say, some still feel it.) And instead of beating us over the head with some syrupy moral at the end like so much predictable Christmas fare, it turns out to be okay that he wanted that BB gun so badly he could think of nothing else all December. When a BB ricochets and we hear the crunch of his glasses underfoot, we giggle and shrug and think, “well at least he didn’t shoot his eye out”. The movie understands we’ve all been there: we’ve skinned our knees after begging for those metal wheels that clip onto our shoes, and we’ve danced on the bed when we’re not supposed to and heard the sickening crack of the new 8-track player hitting the floor. And then frantically tried to figure out a way to make ourselves look blameless!
We did that stuff, like Ralphie, because we were kids. And though messy, loud, and destructive at times, it’s okay to be a kid. And it’s okay to be an imperfect parent, too, doing the best you can with what you have.
The old man in A Christmas Story goes to work in the morning, comes home at night, and clearly has left the brunt of the child-raising to his wife, who seems to cook the same dinner perpetually and still can’t get the smallest one to eat in any kind of socially acceptable manner. Sound familiar? But they love each other. The old man and his wife have a tender moment at the end, drinking wine and watching the snow fall. Mother and son bond in a new way with the secret about the fight (and more cursing), as do son and father. If you missed Darren McGavin’s slight smile of amusement after Ralphie drops the F-bomb, you need to watch it again.
In a time when it seems that Christmas is about nothing more than going and doing and getting, this movie inspires in me a kind of humorous nostalgia, a feel-good feeling without the saccharine greeting card sentiment. I can’t seem to find that anywhere else. So I watch A Christmas Story while I wrap my daughter’s presents on Christmas Eve, a tradition that officially heralds in my Christmas Spirit.
For a couple of hours I’m taken back to my own childhood and the Christmases I loved, and all the Christmases with my daughter. I think of her running from her room each year like Ralphie and Randy did, and like I did, hoping for that one special thing that Santa just had to bring–because Christmas is magical and Santa knows everything. I watch it and reminisce, and I love Christmas again.
Until December 26th.
3 comments December 21st, 2007
Christmas Isn’t Christmas Without the Movies
by Adrienne Amos
Being a sentimental romantic all year long means Christmas brings it all to one glorious head, and I love it! From the Grinches and Scrooges to the festive music playing everywhere you go, it’s all part of tradition I really can’t do without. When evening comes and it’s time to wind down, Christmas movies are just what the doctor ordered. From touchingly funny to tearjerkers, they all have a special place in my heart and holiday routine.
We can relate to the antics of Chevy Chase and his holiday lights fiasco (National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation) or Arnie trying desperately to get that special toy (Jingle All the Way). It wouldn’t be Christmas without some telling of the classic A Christmas Carol, though some versions are more fun than others. A few years back Sam Elliot played a single father trying to cope with economic difficulties while raising a daughter devoted to Christmas (Prancer)–that took a whole box of Kleenex to watch. Short cartoon classics permeate the small screen from Thanksgiving onward, and for some it just isn’t Christmas without Rudolph and the Peanuts gang. This year Shrek joined in the holiday cartoon marathon. It was a delightful film that reminded us the best-laid plans are always what the season is all about. Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas with a miracle or two, so Miracle on 34th Street is a must.
Miracle on 34th Street via S. Herman. Some rights reserved.
For sheer family joy there are the three Santa Clause movies with Tim Allen. “Hot chocolate and marshmallows coming right up!” is truly The Polar Express, heartwarming and worth watching season after season. Angela Lansbury did a musical Mrs. Santa Claus for Hallmark Entertainment a few years ago, which showed us how important she is to Santa and Christmas. Speaking of Hallmark, they even have commercials like mini Christmas stories that can make me cry and go “awwwwwwww”!
Come Christmas Eve there’s a movie originally done for television with Loretta Young (I know most of you are too young to remember her!) that will have you reaching for tissues often as well. Its premise of a charitable wealthy woman who’s estranged from her grandchildren because of her son touches the heartstrings of anyone who has been far from family at this time of year.
Okay, by now you’ve figure out that I’m addicted to Christmas and Christmas movies! Each serves a purpose and evokes a multitude of emotions. Yet I still haven’t told you which film is my all-time favorite, so bear with me…
Before I reveal my true favorite I must tell you about one more movie. For sheer fun rent Holiday Inn. It’s old and in black and white, but it debuts the Christmas song that later became the title for my favorite Christmas movie, which is White Christmas. Yes, I know it’s ancient and schmaltzy, but then so am I!
Why is it my favorite? The story is pretty simple and basic for this time of year. You know the one—boy meets girl, they fall in love, they separate, and they reunite. But it’s also a story about caring and sharing, and that is the basis for the season.
White Christmas is funny, with this wonderful cast of crazy characters that are like so many people we have known or know. Much of the script has become tag lines for my son and me over the years, so watching it brings him home, if only in my heart. It focuses on mostly ordinary people (even if they all seem to be in better financial shape than many of us). It’s not preachy, nor is anyone trying to convince us they are perfect. Every one of the principle characters makes mistakes along the way. Their concerns are real—a place to live, making a living, and finding their own happiness.
The title song alone can make me cry because of its simplistic beauty, so when it is part of a movie that features other great music I must watch! “Count Your Blessings” is also a wonderful song from this movie. It’s a quiet reminder that we should all be thankful for what we have and not stress over what we don’t.
The dancing isn’t quite the dancing of today, but Vera Ellen as the younger sister is fantastic to watch. Even on my best days when I was in great shape I couldn’t do in flats what she does in high heels. For the older generation there are the legends: Bing Crosby, Rosemary Clooney (George’s aunt, for you youngsters), and the remarkable Danny Kaye. For the young folk who are unaware, in his heyday Danny was one of the most all-around talented guys in the business. He sang, he danced, he did comedy, and he acted. After the holidays, those of you with children should rent Hans Christian Andersen, which truly showcased his talents.
The show’s finale would make the perfect Christmas card. Doors open behind one of the most exquisitely-decorated Christmas trees ever to reveal it all: the snow is falling, a sleigh comes into view, and the four stars get everyone to join in song. Of course, the guys are dressed as Santa (Bing always looked goofy in a hat), and the leading ladies are in beautiful fur-trimmed red dresses. I think those dresses are breathtaking, especially Vera Ellen’s. Since the first time I saw White Christmas one of my dreams has been to someday have a dress like that to wear–and a place to wear it, if only for one night.
It’s memories of Christmases past and the promise of even better ones to come, all rolled into 120 minutes. I think Christmas traditions are to be treasured and preserved, and to remind us us that some things are best left unchanged. Watching White Christmas on Christmas Day is the perfect reminder for me. It’s A Wonderful Life with bells signaling angels getting their wings as presents are opened, while our bellies are bulging from good food and we’re relaxing with a hot cup of coffee or cocoa. In my house that includes watching White Christmas with those I hold dearest. And that is A Christmas Story.
1 comment December 21st, 2007
Day in the life of a Ron Paul Supporter
It’s not an easy life. Supporting an underdog in a presidential race. But it’s what makes us American. Like him or not, he’s got some real momentum online.
For those with Ron Paul, we salute you!
Add comment October 30th, 2007
